The hubby and I have been living together for more than a year now and we finally got the hang of who’s responsible for doing what.
As I sit here waiting for our laundry to finish drying it occurred to me that it was never this easy. When the hubby and I moved in we knew it was going to be difficult but we never imagined to what extent.
The hubby was living at home up until we moved in together. On the other hand I had moved out of my parents house when I was 18 years-old. I lived with different roommates for almost ten years.
I was supposed to take it easy on him because he was never required to do anything at home. I was supposed to teach him what his mom never taught him. I expected him to be a clean freak just like me and nagged him when I realized that he was on the other end.
Finding a middle ground took a long time but it was really worth the effort we put into it because now we have an arrangement that we are happy with. We both agreed that we want a clean and organized apartment and it was going to take both of us to accomplish that. When one of us is not available to help out because of school or work demands then the other one steps up to do it. Doesn’t it sound dreamy? Some might say it even sounds fair which it is, but it really took about a year to really work and get all the kinks out.
Who does what:
Laundry- we both do it. When one of us does the laundry the other one puts the clothes away.
Ironing- he does it. I HATE ironing. I don’t really know why but I really do so he irons everything.
Dishes/Kitchen/Bathroom- that’s all me. Once in a while we do the dishes together but usually I do them as I go. I don’t mind cleaning the bathroom and I feel like the kitchen is my domain since I love cooking and baking so I tell him to stay out.
Living Room-we both clean it as we go along. He usually does the vacuuming because he knows how bad my allergies are.
Bedroom- we both do it. He usually makes the bed and I organize the rest of the room.
I have to admit that at the beginning I nagged him about the little things like his shoes in the living room but I soon realized that it took less effort for me to ask nicely than to nag. Working together has not only brought us together but has strengthen our marriage. We are in a partnership and we now both take pride in what our apartment looks like. When I have finals he’s usually the one cleaning up the kitchen and getting us dinner. When he has deadlines to do I clean the apartment from top to bottom. Learning to compromise and to break the usual gender roles was the key to our happiness and our chore dilemma.
So how are you handling the things that have to be done around the house? What have you learned from living together with your significant other?